Traffic buzzing
noisy chaos
the city floods with sound.
Lights flashing
shinning bright
no darkness can be found.
People rushing
hectic days
no time to stop and ponder.
Stale air
smoggy sky
how I breathe is a wonder.
Urban jungle
tangled mess
this is the city life.
No peace
can't relax
the stress of city life.
Growing up in a town with less than 500 people, it was a big change for me to move to Phoenix. Although it has been almost 9 years, I can never seem to get over how loud everything is. The people, the traffic, the police sirens, the helicopters and planes flying by. The neighbors kids are constantly screaming. The traffic here is constant. And, I miss the stars. You can see a few, but nothing like the beautiful night sky I enjoyed as a child. Sometimes it gets the best of me, but most of the time, I am in my house, with my family that loves me and I am content. The walls of my house build a shield around me where the distraction of the city outside can not intrude on my peace. Someday I hope to get back to a peaceful life outside of the city. A place where I can enjoy being outside again.
ReplyDeleteI remember hearing about you growing up in a small town-- I acquired my BA in a little town 2 hours out of Phoenix (Prescott) and it was pretty small. My move to a big city was also a little alienating at first, and still continues to be somewhat of a hassle for me. I agree, the environment is noisy and loud, and we do live in a concrete jungle. Black tar roads seem to take up most of the space in Phoenix/Tempe, and there is little to no green. There is a lot of brown-- lots of brown. rocks, dirt, tumbleweeds. I remember the night sky being incredibly clear in central California, where I grew up. I remember camping and being able to look up and see several constellations with an unusual clarity. Here, everything is different. The perspective of the world is limited and reduced to a front yard view, which hopefully may change :). I find myself wanting to just go out and "be," and exist in a place that is comfortable vs. incredibly hot. I told Chris the other night "I want to just hangout somewhere that's pretty and comfy." He laughed lol.
DeleteHello Jessi,
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting your poem, I think it looks great on the blog :) The first thing I notice about the poem is its great rhythm and rhyme scheme. The rhyming is gentle and noticeable, and seems to follow a pattern: abc, adc, aef, ghf, ijk, lmk. There is intention with form and structure; the poem is formed with six stanzas and each contains three lines. The last line of the first two stanzas end specifically and adhere to an audible syllabic rhyme: “sound” (3) and “found” (6). The next two do the same: “ponder” (9) and “wonder” (12). The last two stanzas pair as well with “life” (15) and “life” (18). The last line of the first four stanzas are consistent in symmetry since they appear to be the same length. The poem appears balanced due to the length of the lines-- including the shorter patterns we see at the beginning of each stanza, where two words are often featured in two lines, prior to the third as the last. The rhythm of the poem fits very well with the content that appears thoughtful and tentative. There is also deliberate attention to punctuation; the first line of every stanza is capitalized and each stanza ends with a period.
The speaker is observant in an introspective way as he or she considers their environment. The magic of the poem seems to be with its sense of minimalism that is associated with straightforward observations and statements, and the consistent structure. There is a noticeable sense of honesty that almost leads to objectivity I think, present in the poem. I take this stance on the content but I also consider the perspective of the speaker which seems to indicate a like for a quiet, noninvasive environment. The context of the poem seems reliably rooted in reality (funny mouthful) next to its straightforward presence. The tone is traditionally aesthetic with its structural detail and honest content; traditional not necessarily meaning predictable, but more so with a healthy emphasis on deliberate diction that flows well with the poem. The content seems to speak to an individual who yearns for another place of existence and a subtler setting.
The first stanza considers the sound present in the speaker's environment, the “noisy chaos” (2) that “floods” “the city with sound” (3), emphasizing the invasive nature of the events occurring around them. The second stanza considers visual elements within the environment such as “flashing” “lights” (4) that shine brightly, indicating a lack of darkness that the speaker would seem to favor instead of their current surroundings. The appearance of a loud and bright environment seems to create a contrast with other poems seen in the workshop, specifically Gabby's poem “Unassuming Life,” where calm and quiet are integral parts of a poem's persona. This is great for creating a sense of versatility in the workshop, so we can experience all the senses involved when considering our environments. The third stanza solidifies the existence of what the city is being flooded with: “People” who are “rushing” (7) due to “hectic” (8) schedules that do not allow for pausing or introspection. This occurrence is unlike the fourth stanza, where the speaker appears to take thoughts and experiences inward, internalizing their boisterous environment: “smoggy sky/ how I breathe is a wonder” (11-12). The speaker also thoughtfully assesses the situational setting they exist in-- there is an “Urban jungle” (13) that is descriptive of a “tangled mess” (14) which the speaker considers to be the norm, indicating that “this is the city life” (15). The sixth stanza brings the poem to a conclusion, emphasizing the normalcy of a busy-bodied concrete city and the speaker's longing for a different setting.
I think there is much going on as far as structure is concerned which is a unique deviation from what we've been seeing here in the workshop. I appreciate your willingness to try a new approach to poetry and experiment with form and rhyme scheme. Usually, rhyme scheme creates a very heavy presence in poetry but you accomplish it with good finesse that makes it noticeable but not overwhelming. As always, your word choice appears deliberate and the descriptions made are minimalist but greatly communicative. I'm beginning to see the workshop venture into the realm of poetic form which is pretty awesome. Also, I love the sense of variation; nothing is commodified, regardless of the content we consider on a daily basis, such as city life or simply living.
ReplyDeleteThanks again Jessi and I look forward to seeing you in class :)
-Tara