"A light catches somewhere, finds human spirit to burn on...it dwells: slowly the light, its veracity unshaken, dies but moves to find a place to break out elsewhere; this light, tendance, neglect is human concern working with what is." - A. R. Ammons
I thought I would write something more cheerful than my usual sad poems. I have had the greatest time writing. It has inspired in me something I rarely use. So glad I joined your class. Thank you Tara!
P.S., Really glad you are enjoying the workshop! It's uber exciting that someone else is uber excited about it :) I'm definitely happy that you feel that way, and It's really great to have you!
Thank you for posting, and so efficiently early in the week! I read your other comment and I think it’s great that you’re willing to post something with a different feel to it. I think it really resonates with a speaker who values such things. I see your writing style with this poem; clear, precise and concrete. I wanted to say practical but that seems predictable, so I chose concrete instead—we often hear this term used anyway, in respect to something that is comprehensive vs. heavily abstract. Besides your writer’s voice, I notice the title of the poem. It is something that stands out to me and understandably so, since it is the first word the reader is apt to encounter. Occasionally a poem depends on its title to truly flesh out what exactly it is stating, but I think the title and content form a successful equivalency .The chosen title is “Family,” and the poem is contingent on elaborating.
The poem is made up of four stanzas, and there seems to be a sense of duality present within the poem’s structure. The first stanza consists of three lines and three words, while the last two stanzas follow suit with the single exception being the conjunctive adjectival noun “Perfect imperfection” (7). This creates a noticeable balance throughout the poem and adds to it a sense of visual symmetry. The visual form of the poem in association to the content is as reliable as the content is to its title, I think. This structural style gives the speaker a persona of clarity and stability. There is also a similar notion occurring between the second and fourth stanzas: “Enjoy” (4) and “Home…” (8). The two stanzas are relative in the way they incorporate single word-use and are surrounded by similar spacing on the page. When read, the relation can also be seen: “enjoy home,” which can be read as a comprehensive paired message. I think this works for the possible intention of the poem.
The speaker’s tone is clear and jovial. There is a moderate sense of minimalism—or positive simplicity that drives the poem with its solid message: that family is of much value and is the foundation of what one could consider to be “Home” (8). The speaker creates descriptions that are concrete and rooted in reality though his or her assessments of family values are not constructed from a concrete space, but rather from intangible things such as compassion, the sharing of time, and the acknowledgment of the perfectly acceptable though imperfect, and mortal, human condition. The speaker creates a light tone and compassionate mood for the poem by using emotional descriptions: “Smiling” (3), “Enjoy” (4), “Loving” (5), “Perfect Imperfection” (7) and “Home” (8). The tone is also implemented by descriptive actions such as “Laughing” (1), “Joking” (2), and “Giving” (6).
I think you do a great job emphasizing positive emotions in the poem. Positive emotions are very important when thinking about social consciousness, and there would be an innate lack of emotional awareness if both the good and the bad weren’t involved in the process. Thank you for stirring your content up a bit as I know you mentioned that was your goal. I think you accomplished it, and I look forward to reading more from you :) -Tara
The most fascinating part of this poem for me is the ellipse after "Home" (8). After all of these positive emotions that Tara commented on, the ellipse suggests that this concept of 'home' is currently separated from the speaker, sort of wistful and far away and reaching for this momentarily-unattainable place.
I do like that Tara commented on the simplicity of the speech -- I agree that it's really reflective on the sort of home that the speaker seems to want. Each word seems to capture a different image for each reader, making the poem easy to interpret in vastly different perspectives. Seems to give that warm, fuzzy feeling -- interestingly, in an individualistic way.
The concept of "[p]erfect imperfection" (7) is a sort of vague notion, I think. It also seems rather idealist. This poem in general has a bittersweet sort of tone -- at least in my reading of it -- because it seems like it captures that idealist tone that is far away and ultimately unattainable, for the most part.
I thought I would write something more cheerful than my usual sad poems. I have had the greatest time writing. It has inspired in me something I rarely use. So glad I joined your class. Thank you Tara!
ReplyDeleteP.S., Really glad you are enjoying the workshop! It's uber exciting that someone else is uber excited about it :) I'm definitely happy that you feel that way, and It's really great to have you!
DeleteHello Jessi,
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting, and so efficiently early in the week! I read your other comment and I think it’s great that you’re willing to post something with a different feel to it. I think it really resonates with a speaker who values such things. I see your writing style with this poem; clear, precise and concrete. I wanted to say practical but that seems predictable, so I chose concrete instead—we often hear this term used anyway, in respect to something that is comprehensive vs. heavily abstract. Besides your writer’s voice, I notice the title of the poem. It is something that stands out to me and understandably so, since it is the first word the reader is apt to encounter. Occasionally a poem depends on its title to truly flesh out what exactly it is stating, but I think the title and content form a successful equivalency .The chosen title is “Family,” and the poem is contingent on elaborating.
The poem is made up of four stanzas, and there seems to be a sense of duality present within the poem’s structure. The first stanza consists of three lines and three words, while the last two stanzas follow suit with the single exception being the conjunctive adjectival noun “Perfect imperfection” (7). This creates a noticeable balance throughout the poem and adds to it a sense of visual symmetry. The visual form of the poem in association to the content is as reliable as the content is to its title, I think. This structural style gives the speaker a persona of clarity and stability. There is also a similar notion occurring between the second and fourth stanzas: “Enjoy” (4) and “Home…” (8). The two stanzas are relative in the way they incorporate single word-use and are surrounded by similar spacing on the page. When read, the relation can also be seen: “enjoy home,” which can be read as a comprehensive paired message. I think this works for the possible intention of the poem.
The speaker’s tone is clear and jovial. There is a moderate sense of minimalism—or positive simplicity that drives the poem with its solid message: that family is of much value and is the foundation of what one could consider to be “Home” (8). The speaker creates descriptions that are concrete and rooted in reality though his or her assessments of family values are not constructed from a concrete space, but rather from intangible things such as compassion, the sharing of time, and the acknowledgment of the perfectly acceptable though imperfect, and mortal, human condition. The speaker creates a light tone and compassionate mood for the poem by using emotional descriptions: “Smiling” (3), “Enjoy” (4), “Loving” (5), “Perfect Imperfection” (7) and “Home” (8). The tone is also implemented by descriptive actions such as “Laughing” (1), “Joking” (2), and “Giving” (6).
I think you do a great job emphasizing positive emotions in the poem. Positive emotions are very important when thinking about social consciousness, and there would be an innate lack of emotional awareness if both the good and the bad weren’t involved in the process. Thank you for stirring your content up a bit as I know you mentioned that was your goal. I think you accomplished it, and I look forward to reading more from you :)
-Tara
Hey Jessi,
ReplyDeleteThe most fascinating part of this poem for me is the ellipse after "Home" (8). After all of these positive emotions that Tara commented on, the ellipse suggests that this concept of 'home' is currently separated from the speaker, sort of wistful and far away and reaching for this momentarily-unattainable place.
I do like that Tara commented on the simplicity of the speech -- I agree that it's really reflective on the sort of home that the speaker seems to want. Each word seems to capture a different image for each reader, making the poem easy to interpret in vastly different perspectives. Seems to give that warm, fuzzy feeling -- interestingly, in an individualistic way.
The concept of "[p]erfect imperfection" (7) is a sort of vague notion, I think. It also seems rather idealist. This poem in general has a bittersweet sort of tone -- at least in my reading of it -- because it seems like it captures that idealist tone that is far away and ultimately unattainable, for the most part.
Cool stuff. I look forward to reading more.