is that they really smell. Not
"Good," like the humans think they do
(as if flowers exist to cater
to the paltry nasal senses of beings
just as subject to Darwinism
as the other flora
and fauna that share this Earth --
which might be the only planet that sustains human life,
but I've got a cousin over on Pluto
who's been around for the past thousand light years and he loves it there),
but they're really rather
stifling.
Gabby~
ReplyDeleteThanks again for posting-- I talked a little about your poem in our last meeting. This poem is stylistically different from the other poetry we've seen from you. The tone of the poem is very tongue-in-cheek, and seems to consider an unusual perspective. You mentioned the possibility of an insect's perspective, but now that I've had a lot of quiet time with your poem, the speaker appears to be that of an alien sentient life-form. I think the persona of the poem is too lively and philosophically involved to be something that is less than sentient or overly passive. The title of the poem is enjambed with the first line which emphasizes a continuous flow with the poem; it urges the reader forward. Either way, there is a noticeable amount of anthropomorphism involved with the speaker's perspective. The speaker makes creative and cynical observations about a simple human experience `that involves the consideration of roses. That being said, I want to hear more about the actual flowers that are mentioned here in the poem; what color are the roses, what does their smell remind the speaker of, and if the speaker is aligned vicariously with humanistic attributes (which he/she is, I think) then perhaps it would be interesting to note how we as humans think the flowers smell. This exploration could even attribute to fleshing out the speaker's persona, i.e. what the speaker thinks we think, not what we actually might think about the flowers.
I like the way you associate content-related and structural themes; the first stanza opens with eight lines including the title, the second stanza consists of three lines and the last stanza concludes the poem with a conjunctive couplet statement. This creates a visual aesthetic in the poem and adds a chaotic sense of balance to its overall form. Perhaps the form could also be attributed to the “shrinking” perspective of the speaker in the poem, indicating how their consideration of the human race is a verification of truth through their perspective (whether roses truly do smell or not). Due to the length of each stanza, the poem seems minimalist with particular attention to punctuation. There is much attention to the use of capitalization, dashes, line enjambment and italics. Parentheticals specifically punctuate the poem and draw attention to a series of thoughts: “(as if flowers exist to cater/ to the paltry nasal senses of beings..and he loves it there)” (3-4, 10). As you said, the things occurring within the parentheses really do drive the poem. It is this interesting deviation created by focusing almost solely on this form of punctuation that enhances the unusual observations created in between.
The poem is contemplative with the use of a cynical and humanistic but non-human speaker (or so I'm led to believe). The content is imaginative in the way that it explores a perspective that isn't necessarily human or predictable, and I think a good sort of awareness stems from this exploration in the poem. It isn't just the varying consciousness of sentient human beings that are of importance, but the awareness or acknowledgement of other living things as well. The topic is something that could be difficult to consider, and even if done playfully, is an important stance to think about. Thank you for sharing with us during the workshop, even if you dislike discussing your work. I look forward to reading more of your writing and seeing where it will take us :]
-Tara
Hmm. I do like this concept of fleshing it out more. I had considered the 'shrinking' aspect and was hoping that it created an effect of the speaker becoming enfolded or enclosed in a plant-like thing, but I think that if I had fleshed it out more, it would have emphasised that aspect and made it more distinct. But yeah, you're definitely right -- it could use some added perspective, probably describing exactly what the life-form's vocabulary would be in describing the sensory experience of 'stifling.' Perhaps it could use another stanza?
ReplyDeleteIf I have time, I'll play around with it. Thanks for the reflection / advice.