"A light catches somewhere, finds human spirit to burn on...it dwells: slowly the light, its veracity unshaken, dies but moves to find a place to break out elsewhere; this light, tendance, neglect is human concern working with what is." - A. R. Ammons
Thanks for posting, and also appealing to the workshop’s current theme :) The first line of your poem contains the word “Open” (1) which is interesting in the way that it is also the very first opening line, “Open land” (1). I like the way this word has more than one function and how it is demonstrated at the beginning of the poem. The first line leads into several descriptive words that to me could imply several things. Ambiguity in the poem could lead me as the reader to believe that the speaker is a meadow that reaps the benefits of existing in a wide open space with rivers or “Water flowing” (3) around it, including “Trees” (5) surrounded by other aspects of “Nature” (7). It could just as easily be said in another perspective, that our speaker is an observant human being who enjoys and finds comfort in “Fishing and living” (4) in open spaces. Knowing the possibility of either, the poem seems to bring the concept of freedom into the forefront with words like “Open” (1) “Free” (2) and “living” (4). The content of the poem is driven by demonstrative descriptions that although don’t typically narrate, tend to appeal to a greater set of events happening in the natural world. This poem definitely considers the benefits of existing in or within the natural world and how humans would be obliged to interact with it.
The poem is 8 lines long and is constructed in one vertically-shaped stanza. The poem doesn’t seem to be heavily focused on structure, but rather with creating a sense of symmetry through well-balanced lines. There is a noticeable sense of duality present in each line concerning description. Words appear in several instances, paired, and create an interactive relationship within each pair: “Open land” (1), “Free breathing” (2), “Water flowing” (3), “Fishing and living” (4) and “Nature abounding” (7). The formula creates a minimalist stanza that appears mostly symmetrical and allows room for heavier focus on content.
I appreciate that you considered an eco-theme for this poem and that this adds a sense of variety in contrast to your last poem, “Fooding.” If I had to challenge you in the future for another eco-poem, I would ask you to not only view the natural world through a positive lens, but to also consider it in its changed state as a result of human interference. I look forward to reading more of your eco-themed and spontaneous poetry :)
Hello Chris,
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting, and also appealing to the workshop’s current theme :) The first line of your poem contains the word “Open” (1) which is interesting in the way that it is also the very first opening line, “Open land” (1). I like the way this word has more than one function and how it is demonstrated at the beginning of the poem. The first line leads into several descriptive words that to me could imply several things. Ambiguity in the poem could lead me as the reader to believe that the speaker is a meadow that reaps the benefits of existing in a wide open space with rivers or “Water flowing” (3) around it, including “Trees” (5) surrounded by other aspects of “Nature” (7). It could just as easily be said in another perspective, that our speaker is an observant human being who enjoys and finds comfort in “Fishing and living” (4) in open spaces. Knowing the possibility of either, the poem seems to bring the concept of freedom into the forefront with words like “Open” (1) “Free” (2) and “living” (4). The content of the poem is driven by demonstrative descriptions that although don’t typically narrate, tend to appeal to a greater set of events happening in the natural world. This poem definitely considers the benefits of existing in or within the natural world and how humans would be obliged to interact with it.
The poem is 8 lines long and is constructed in one vertically-shaped stanza. The poem doesn’t seem to be heavily focused on structure, but rather with creating a sense of symmetry through well-balanced lines. There is a noticeable sense of duality present in each line concerning description. Words appear in several instances, paired, and create an interactive relationship within each pair: “Open land” (1), “Free breathing” (2), “Water flowing” (3), “Fishing and living” (4) and “Nature abounding” (7). The formula creates a minimalist stanza that appears mostly symmetrical and allows room for heavier focus on content.
I appreciate that you considered an eco-theme for this poem and that this adds a sense of variety in contrast to your last poem, “Fooding.” If I had to challenge you in the future for another eco-poem, I would ask you to not only view the natural world through a positive lens, but to also consider it in its changed state as a result of human interference. I look forward to reading more of your eco-themed and spontaneous poetry :)
-Tara