Distant waters cold and gray
I must go on, I can not stay
Just ahead around the bend
I follow you my trusted friend
A flash of light, one here, one there
The water leads I know not where
Familiar voices of yesterday
But the current has me, I am on my way
D. M.
Hello Dakotah,
ReplyDeleteThanks for doing the exercise with us-- it’s fun to have other people join in :). I like that your poem has a noticeable rhyme scheme (aabbccddee) and appears in a minimalist stanza. The rhythm and patterns present in the poem really remind me of Robert Frost, as I mentioned after the exercise.
The poem begins with a focus on visual surroundings and seems driven by a strong sense of lyricality that emphasizes the perspective of your speaker rather than content rooted in narration. The lyrical qualities of this poem contrast with the heightened narration and various aspects of horror that others encountered during their river stroll. There is a moderate sense of symmetry present in a total of eight lines. The content is contemplative and acknowledges the possibility of unexpected events which creates a trusting and curious speaker: “The water leads I know not where” (6). The tone of the poem creates a calm sense of stability due to the consistency made with rhythm and the speaker’s willingness to continue on towards his discovery of this river. I think that this poem has a sense of positive simplicity to it, and that it relays visual and sensory information in an uncommodified manner. With the aesthetic re-invention of words, an aura of dependability concerning the speaker also arises, and this forms a reassuring gesture towards the reader that hints at optimism: “I follow you my trusted friend” (4), “Familiar voices of yesterday” (7).
I appreciate the trustworthy observations relayed by the speaker of your poem, and that your content contrasts with the chaotic urgency I noticed in the other responses to this prompt. Your title also seems very appropriate because the concept of “continuance” and the way your poem has a consistent flow similar to the nuance of a moving river. The conclusion of the poem is unique in how the river’s “current” (8) is personified: “the current has me” (8). Here, the river could appear to be sentient and beckoning, which works well with the inner-workings of the poem and its own ‘current’ concerning rhythm and curiosity to reach its conclusion.
I look forward to seeing where other prompts take you if/when you join us in the future :)!
-Tara