California is the most polluted state in the U.S. There are NO animals, NO human or plants. I felt like I was on another planet and I needed to wear a space suit! I could only imagine there where clean plants, clean air and water. I bet ... 2 years later, I'm in a hospital. I woke up .Wha ... where am I? Someone said I almost died! What are you? A giant hairy foot space monkey!
-Erin M.
Hello Erin,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this with us, and reading it out loud :). I think your poem is fun, and like I said the other night, your poetry always has a tinge of uniqueness to it. There is always an interesting twist present in your poetry, usually seen towards the end.
I like that you bring a sense of place—one that’s specifically named, into the picture. Not only do you consider a place, but you consider an entire state! Your speaker presents a lot of humor and satire while discussing the state of California, literally and figuratively. Your speaker presents the reader with some science-fiction-related surrealism where “space suit(s)” (2) are involved. Aside from the space suits, your poem seems to embody the idea of a post-apocalyptic scenario where the air is mostly unbreatheable, admist acquitted chaos: “I could only imagine there were clean plants, clean air and water,” (3) which I as the reader assume was only at one previous point in time. I like that you include this sense of contrast and comparison in the poem—it helps give the reader a sense of the time that has passed for this destruction to come about and emphasizes the actual deterioration.
I like the unique, kooky twist at the end of your poem and also, I like the inclusion of the “giant hairy foot space monkey” (5).
I look forward to seeing what you’ll write next :).
-Tara