Thursday, November 1, 2012
Stranger
I'm in a coffee shop. A strange man comes up to me. He is very nice. He is in a black coat, a hat and sunglasses. He asked me what my name was, I didn't answer. He asked me again and again. I didn't answer. He thought I was deaf. He used sign language. I looked at him strangely. He tried to grab me, I punched him in the face. He fell down, I ran. He found me! I kicked him and ran and ran and ran! He never bother me again.
-Erin
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Hello Erin,
ReplyDeleteThank you for participating in the exercise with us :). I like the title of the poem and the way it disembodies identity. It’s an interesting contrast because the prompt given pushes you to consider the concept of identity and, then reevaluate. I’m especially fond of the first part of the poem: “I’m in a coffee shop” (1). It indicates setting, but also the speaker who is considered in the first person point of view.
I appreciate the creativity in the dialogue present in the poem since it gives the piece a conversational tone and feel. The rhythm in the poem is also unique due to repetition: “He asked me” (2), “He thought I” (3). There’s a unique displacement brought up by the rhythm with subject-verb-noun, which is a noticeable pattern. The poem appears prose-like and reads as a narrative tale in a single stanza.
As always, I love the suspense present in the poem. There is most usually an element in your poetry that surprises and urges the reader to its conclusion. Also, the end of the poem has a fun sense of contrast since the antagonist in the poem is ultimately overcome. Mentioning this, there seems to be a consistent undertone of Norse mythology & mythology in the general sense. This poem incorporates slight use of the Hero’s cycle, where one is brought into effect, undergoes a tumultuous journey, and either surpasses his charge or is beaten by it; but only to rise again of course. In comparison to your last poem, where we see a mythological hybrid beast and a hero who is devoured—most appropriately a hero’s journey, this poem contrasts with the speaker’s positive demise at the very end.
Good use of storytelling :). I look forward to seeing more of your poetry!
-Tara