Monday, November 5, 2012
Frozen
It's snowing, you go outside, with shorts on. You lock your keys inside. You are freezing. You're frozen, it's now spring. You're still frozen, it's summer. It's 110 degrees. You're not frozen anymore. You say help, help, I don't know what year it is. A man tells you that the years is 3333. AAAAAAHHHHHH IT"S 3333! The man is not a man. The man is a robot. HELP!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hello Erin,
ReplyDeleteThank you for participating :). I like the personality of the speaker in this poem! He or she is unpredictable and a little bit kooky. The poem is narrative and seems to be very action-oriented in relation to the little events that are occurring. I especially like the beginning of the poem: “It’s snowing, you go outside, with shorts on.” (1). I notice that your poems always have these strong beginnings, and unique endings. The poem successfully embodies the cold unpleasant and unpredictable qualities of winter with a bit of satire and humor involved.
I like how the end of the poem ends strongly and has an emphatic visual presence, in all caps no less! The characters present in the poem add an appropriate and strange finesse into the world of this narrative poem: “The man is a robot” (5), “A man tells you” (4). I like the way the identities of these individuals are ambiguous though they are referenced in the poem. This poem is fast moving and the conclusion has a unique halt that states: “HELP!” (5).
Thank you and keep writing :)
-Tara